Sorry for being so hesitant,
For being so guarded,
For letting my walls up,
For not giving it a try,
For leaving you hanging,
Waiting, and maybe hoping
For a respond.
I’m so sorry for being a coward,
I’m sorry for not letting you try.
But thank you, thank you for those songs you have recorded, you’ve sang, and even played guitar for me, I truly felt special and i appreciated it, it’s one of the things I wanted a guy would do to me, the kind of serenade that will make me look at the night sky and wonder what it’s like to be an important someone to someone—lol the kind of funny thing. Thank you for making me feel really like a girl that time, that a boy can somehow be interested to, even though I am not that pretty and interesting. I am not the easy girl, I am hard to pursue because I am so hesitant, coward, and doubtful about myself. I am such an idealistic person, which I somewhat hate about myself, I always want what I want, I always have an idea about what I wanted to have, I always fell in love with ideas instead of falling inlove with people who could have seen my worth as a woman who deserves nothing more or less but to be loved. To be honest, I am still trying to get over someone; a guy whose name I can’t seem to forget, a guy who never cared and see me, figuratively. This is what I’m trying to fix, I hate to say this but I feel like If i did continue ‘that’ and doing so, responding and giving you high hopes when I don’t have any intentions to have a thing with someone at the moment, It feels like i’m just lying to myself and to you, it doesn’t feel good to lie; to myself and to those people who doesn’t deserve to be lied to. You deserve to be happy.
I have learned my lesson and thanks for letting me realize again that—it’s not a guy, that I wanted right now, that will fill the emptiness-hole inside my heart, the loneliness and longing for someone is not what I really wanted as of the moment, that was I thought. I’ve come to realized that, what I’ve been longing is growth; for myself, for me, just for me. This is my time with myself to divert my attention to myself and help myself grow into a woman I wanted to be, I wanted to grow; physically, mentally, emotionally, and most specially—spiritually. This is my time with God, to know him and his love, in order for me to learn to love myself before I can love others.
You deserve someone who’ll respond,
Who will give you assurance,
Who will never make you wait,
Who will never leave you hanging,
Who will never ignore you,
Who will reciprocate the vibe you
gave to them, the kind of attention you
gave me that time, thank you for that
very shortwhile moment you made feel,
You will be a good guy, or you’re already
one that I do not know of.
I’m happy for you, and for the girl
you’ll like and finally love,